when things don't go as planned

We landed here in our clean and cozy home in the German border town of Weil am Rhein by such divine circumstances that I remain convinced it was not an accident. The row house in which we are living has been everything we wanted it to be, cementing plans that we dreamed up, prayed over, and tested regularly. Plans that were confirmed by a good God who knows how to light the path before us.

The narrow backyard and front of our typical row house,
lined up in community with around 20 other homes.

In a few short weeks we developed deep and growing relationships with a number of wonderful people in our proximity. We sipped tea in other backyards and carried apple crisp to the neighbors. The landlady invited me for weekly language practice over coffee, and her sweet teenage daughters have become our babysitters. Our children, who arrived with only a few tired toys, soon had an entire bedroom full of them because mere acquaintances began to shower us with generosity, passing on legos and toy trucks and horses that had been sitting in garages for a decade or more. Karsten found a new best friend in the retired train yard worker next door, who lights up when his little friend comes around. It took only these few short weeks before we began to run into people we knew ALL over town, in the grocery store, on the street corner, at the park, even in the airport. It seems too coincidental to actually be coincidence.

Relationship is everything we came to do well. Here we are, building those relationships with people from completely different backgrounds, and experiencing their gifts of love and welcome toward us. We are doing our best with what we came to do. But it isn't enough.

Life doesn't always go the way we plan it.

This chapter of our trip is about to end prematurely, and we feel a mixture of sadness and disappointment over this. The piece of the puzzle we have been missing all along is a German residency permit. We chose not to expend too much energy worrying about this before arriving because this piece sounded much simpler to obtain than so many of the other pieces that divinely fell into place (all described well here).

You already know I am going to tell you that we didn’t get it. I beat down doors looking for employment, networked my little heart out, and became best friends with the local authorities who process the applications and permission, but doors just kept slamming shut. It has been humbling indeed. Which I can thank God for, because humility is something that brings us closer to Him.

It isn’t that our plan B is so very bad. Plan B has always been to live in Switzerland instead of Germany and continue with the same heart and desires on the other side of the border. Plan B is still a beautiful plan, but it does change EVERYTHING…. from Annike’s school experience, to the language we all learn and practice, to the church community we hoped to have, to the amount of money it costs to live (ouch!), to the connection to German culture that is part of Christian’s familial heritage. The most tragic thing we feel now is that it curtails the relationships we have been building with the wonderful people we have met here.

Life is full of all kinds of disappointments to our expectations. Ours doesn't compare with some of the tragic turns I am witnessing in the lives of friends, including cancer and sickness and consequences for decisions that seem unjust. The one thing we can count on is that life will invariably NOT go as planned.

Looking at our whole story, I can't conclude that we were wrong in being led this direction, or that we have misstepped in some way, or even failed to listen at some point along the journey. Looking at our whole story, I have to conclude that this is right where God has us intentionally. Even if it wasn’t what we expected. Even if it changes everything.

In these past weeks all of our energy has gone to figuring out what is next, trying to rewrite some semblance of what will work for our family. We have been on a time line (dictated by our visas) to make a tough decision. I felt I was groping around in a darkened pitch black room, trying to catch hold of one solid idea that would work for the five of us involved in this journey. The choices were vast, each one setting off a waterfall of effects.

In a desperate moment of silence, groping for substance, I grabbed and held tight to one truth: “look for My face in the dark.” 
Quit groping around, the face of Jesus is all you need. It will shine brightly in a darkened place.

When things don't go as planned, it can feel that we have been overlooked, neglected, or forgotten. The book of 1 Thessalonians has been a special encouragement to me as it is a letter written specifically to remind a group of people that they have not been forgotten. Not only are they not forgotten, but they are remembered... for their faith, love, and endurance.

“We remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, 

your labor prompted by love, 

and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.” 

1 Thessalonians 1:3

This same book ends with a piece of invaluable wisdom about what to do when we don't know what to do next. Discerning God's will in the midst of our many daily decisions can be confusing and frustrating. Not every choice is clearly outlined in a practical way, meaning that there isn't a Bible verse telling us which house to rent, or which university to attend, or which friend to reach out to. There are days when discerning God’s will can feel murky at best. Yet, here it is, specifically addressed:

“Rejoice always, pray continually, 

give thanks in all circumstances; 

for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Friend, if you needed to hear that today too in the midst of painful indecision, or a glitch in the plans, please know that you are not forgotten, and you know what God's will is:. Rejoice. Pray. Give thanks.

In our case, it has led us to a place where we are grateful to finally have the vague outline of a decision made, even if it is not what we originally hoped for. We have around one month left living in Germany before we move to a temporary housing situation in Switzerland. We will rent another family’s home near the center of Basel for three months while they travel overseas (nearly the only thing we could find in weeks of searching!) Come January, we will be back in the same boat, trying to figure out what is next and where to live.

This is not a plan with which I am fully comfortable, as it doesn't offer me the stability or consistently I so desperately want right now. It doesn't allow me to plan very far into the future, as I am anxious to do. And it doesn't allow me to grow roots in our neighborhood. Always, I have to remember that "the plan" can't become the thing we mistakenly begin to follow. We follow after Jesus alone.

However, this plan does seem to be the best we can currently come up with. And it is covered in rejoicing, prayer, and giving thanks. So we proceed, remembering to hold our plans loosely and hold Jesus tight.

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In the meantime, in between hours of emailing and searching online forums related to our above dilemmas, we have found some time for a little local exploration...

At the top of the medieval Rotteln Castle with a view from Germany into Switzerland...

Grindelwald and a glimpse of the Swiss Alps...

Enjoying a periodic dip in the Rhein River on a hot day, flowing right through the center of Basel (10 minutes or less away from us)...

Drinking from one of the numerous fountains scattered throughout the city that runs clean water 24 hours a day (an anomaly for these Californians used to skimping on water use)...

The beautiful churches, and

beautiful old walls get me every time...