valentine repeat

Is anyone else thankful that Valentine's Day isn't on a school day this year?  

Below is a repost of something I hope to never repeat. Maybe I just need to remind myself not to strive? 

I wish you all stress-free, love-full, Valentine's days! 

***********************************

It's the second week of February and I am having nightmares of last year's Valentine's Day when I got a crazy notion that I should send a snack into the kindergarten Valentine's party that was both healthy AND cute. Yes, I do know that no child willingly chooses a healthy option at a class party. Still, we have our motherly ambitions.

Enter Pinterest, with its eye candy photos and links to the unimaginable. Pinterest and its simple inspirations for every occasion. HA! I settled on yogurt parfaits with blueberry and strawberry toppings in a waffle cone. The picture was adorable. All of the ingredients were readied the night before and I woke up early on the day of the party to be sure I had enough time to assemble the treats.

Friends, Pinterest is not mother-tested. I knew we were in trouble as my husband was carrying the parfaits out the front door in my clever egg carton carrying case. It was too late. We were already committed. I tried to ignore the wavering waffle cones, slightly losing their shape as the moisture began to soak through. I wanted to hope for the best. Let's just push them lower down into the carrier, I suggested as I ushered my husband out the door with the treats and my daughter, Can't be late for school drop-off on a special day like today!

After the ten minute car ride only half of the waffle cones looked edible. By the time the party rolled around mid-day, the entire tray of soggy mess had to be tossed. My contribution to the class festivities went directly into the trash can. Nowhere, I repeat NOWHERE, did the Pinterest-popular recipe mention that these treats must be eaten within 5 minutes of assembly lest they collapse and taste like a leftover bowl of cereal. That kind of information is apparently not Pinterest-worthy.

I had a similar experience making cake pops for my daughter's birthday. I will spare you the details, but if you want to know what happened just try making your own cake pops. If I ever want cake pops again, I WILL BUY THEM. They are worth every penny. (In defense of the cake pops, they at least still tasted good after falling apart.)

All this striving to impress 5 and 6-year-olds. The same 5 and 6-year-olds who have glue dripping off of every project and who don't always feel like coloring in the lines. The ones who are still learning to make their letters all the same size. The ones who think that when it comes to glitter or sprinkles, more is always better. Or was it really to impress them?

The worst part of these experiences was the way the word "failure" played on repeat in my head. There was the failure to create what I intended to create. There was also the failure to create the perception of perfection.

Pinterest gets a lot of slack for causing feelings of inadequacy in those of us who are less-than-perfect. For example, me. Pinterest itself is not doing anything inherently wrong. Pinterest only represents the ideology of women in my generation:  appear creative, original, trendy, or a perfect blend of healthy and cute, in order to give the illusion that we have it all together.

I am here to tell you that the perfect blend of healthy and cute does not exist. I do not, and will never, have it all together. I am admittedly far less-than-perfect. As proof, I will stand proudly behind my Pinterest failures and hope it sparks change in the ideology women subscribe to. There should be no more sleep lost or wrinkles gained over achieving an illusion. Failed crafts and projects do not define me, and neither do successful ones. I would much rather be known at school as the mother who would never judge others for their lack of presentation. The mother who would laugh at and learn from mistakes made, full of grace for all, especially herself.

For Valentine's Day this year, instead of Pinterest-perfect try something tested by time... like candy hearts and a paper Valentine. It just might be the most original thing the kids at school have ever seen.

This post originally appeared on A Child's Eyes Blog on February 11, 2015.

**************************

love and adventure

Yosemite National Park must be one of my very favorite places on earth.

My childhood was packed with memories in this special place... climbing to the top of Half Dome... getting lost while rafting down the Merced River... staring at the shadow of a bear on my tent while I listened to him eat a pineapple upside down cake inches away from me... spending life-changing weeks at summer camp in Wawona... hiking and walking and bike riding and star gazing and rock climbing... adventure. A God-carved, awe-inspiring glimpse of heaven on earth.

On Valentine's weekend I visited with all the loves of my life. These people have been my Valentines for anywhere between 1 and 13 years!

The littlest loves began the weekend's childhood adventures with a wade in the snow-melt.

It was a uniquely warm February day. Apparently all of California was similarly inspired to visit Yosemite for the special weekend. This translated to parking our car really far away from every destination, which meant a lot of walking. In our family, a lot of walking also means a lot of carrying children. I filled my exercise quota for the week. It led to some necessary ice cream breaks to keep the smiles coming.

We were joined by members of my family for a wonderful weekend all around. All my loves in a lovely place. A set of grandparents and some extra adults around is an excellent idea when traveling anywhere with three young kids.

Annike, my mother, Sommer, my sister, and myself. All of the ladies in the family.

Karsten and my mother on the Wawona covered bridge.

Sommer fishing for the first time with my dad.

pinterest fail

It's the second week of February and I am having nightmares of last year's Valentine's Day when I got a crazy notion that I should send a snack into the kindergarten Valentine's party that was both healthy AND cute. Yes, I do know that no child willingly chooses a healthy option at a class party. Still, we have our motherly ambitions.

Enter Pinterest, with its eye candy photos and links to the unimaginable. Pinterest and its simple inspirations for every occasion. HA! I settled on yogurt parfaits with blueberry and strawberry toppings in a waffle cone. The picture was adorable. All of the ingredients were readied the night before and I woke up early on the day of the party to be sure I had enough time to assemble the treats.

Friends, Pinterest is not mother-tested. I knew we were in trouble as my husband was carrying the parfaits out the front door in my clever egg carton carrying case. It was too late. We were already committed. I tried to ignore the wavering waffle cones, slightly losing their shape as the moisture began to soak through. I wanted to hope for the best. Let's just push them lower down into the carrier, I suggested as I ushered my husband out the door with the treats and my daughter, Can't be late for school drop-off on a special day like today!

After the ten minute car ride only half of the waffle cones looked edible. By the time the party rolled around mid-day, the entire tray of soggy mess had to be tossed. My contribution to the class festivities went directly into the trash can. Nowhere, I repeat NOWHERE, did the Pinterest-popular recipe mention that these treats must be eaten within 5 minutes of assembly lest they collapse and taste like a leftover bowl of cereal. That kind of information is apparently not Pinterest-worthy.

I had a similar experience making cake pops for my daughter's birthday. I will spare you the details, but if you want to know what happened just try making your own cake pops. If I ever want cake pops again, I WILL BUY THEM. They are worth every penny. (In defense of the cake pops, they at least still tasted good after falling apart.)

All this striving to impress 5 and 6-year-olds. The same 5 and 6-year-olds who have glue dripping off of every project and who don't always feel like coloring in the lines. The ones who are still learning to make their letters all the same size. The ones who think that when it comes to glitter or sprinkles, more is always better. Or was it really to impress them?

The worst part of these experiences was the way the word "failure" played on repeat in my head. There was the failure to create what I intended to create. There was also the failure to create the perception of perfection.

Pinterest gets a lot of slack for causing feelings of inadequacy in those of us who are less-than-perfect. For example, me. Pinterest itself is not doing anything inherently wrong. Pinterest only represents the ideology of women in my generation:  appear creative, original, trendy, or a perfect blend of healthy and cute, in order to give the illusion that we have it all together.

I am here to tell you that the perfect blend of healthy and cute does not exist. I do not, and will never, have it all together. I am admittedly far less-than-perfect. As proof, I will stand proudly behind my Pinterest failures and hope it sparks change in the ideology women subscribe to. There should be no more sleep lost or wrinkles gained over achieving an illusion. Failed crafts and projects do not define me, and neither do successful ones. I would much rather be known at school as the mother who would never judge others for their lack of presentation. The mother who would laugh at and learn from mistakes made, full of grace for all, especially herself.

For Valentine's Day this year, instead of Pinterest-perfect try something tested by time... like candy hearts and a paper Valentine. It just might be the most original thing the kids at school have ever seen.

v-day

Our 2nd annual Valentine's Day family date at the beach.

Then Christian takes all three of his special girls out for a Valentine lunch.

A celebration of family, togetherness, the man who takes care of us, the girls he loves, the male/female bonds that matter most. A celebration of LOVE.

Happy Valentine's Day.

be mine

The first time I ever had a date on Valentine's Day was when I was dating my husband.  Boys weren't exactly knocking down my door to date me.  Needless to say, Valentine's Day is not a single-girl's favorite holiday... if you can even call it a holiday.  More like a Hallmark excuse.

My high school years were the hardest to accept a date-less Valentine's.  You remember the bouquets of balloons, and flowers, and chintzy white teddy bears with hearts on their paws that girls carried around school all day, flaunting their dating status to all.  I can distinctly picture myself eating lunch with two of my best girlfriends, and their boyfriends, and a lot of p.d.a. one particularly grim Valentine's day.  I was a definite 5th wheel with school-girl hopes that the boy I had a crush on might glance my way.  Nope.

It was a Valentine's day like this one that I came home from school and went straight to my room, closing the door to hide from the world of teenage boys that had rejected me.
A few hours later came a knock on the door.  In came my dad, recently home from work.  He had a gift for me.  A Valentine's gift to say he loved me.  It was a cheesy stuffed animal - a bee with a "bee mine" heart.  It isn't the gift that was important, but the fact that he gave it.  In that moment, amidst all the feelings of insecurity about myself and what boys in high school thought of me, I felt loved.

My dad gave me a much greater gift than a simple stuffed animal.  He gave me the gift of knowing what kind of love was important on Valentine's Day, and of knowing that I was loved by someone special.  I did not need to settle for some dweeby guy in high school who didn't know how to treat women.  Here I am, years later, actually thankful for the date-less Valentine's Days in my past.  Despite the years of feeling somewhat lonely and forlorn, I never gave a Valentine to someone who didn't deserve it.

Having two daughters scares me because in our world women are expected to sell their virtue for love.  In God's world, love protects our virtue.  Dads have the unique responsibility of loving their daughters in a way that will protect their virtue... a healthy, kind way that teaches them to be discerning about the different kinds of "love" that come along in life.

The man I married is now dad to our two precious daughters.  In our house, Valentine's Day is no longer simply a reason to bring out the romance.  It is one more opportunity to teach our children about the way God intended them to be loved.