People often ask me if it is different having a little boy in the house after having two girls. Until recently my answer was mostly "no". He was born with a surprisingly deep growl for a voice, a decidedly male trait, but outside of that there are basic personality differences between all children and it was hard to pin down which parts were specifically different because of the male component.
Now that he is well into his first year, those differences have begun to present themselves. I find myself awed at some of his stereotypical behavior, and awed at the way that God designed a boy to be uniquely different from the start of life. Some particular items of interest:
Item 1: He never stops moving. Never. Even tired, he rolls, thrashes, and wiggles in his crib until the moment he crashes into deep sleep.
Item 2: He is an explorer by nature. We had some pet doggy visitors over Thanksgiving and when they entered our house they had to sniff and investigate every corner and cranny before they could rest or relax. My little son behaves much the same. Anything new in the environment cannot be ignored but must be explored.
Item 3: He likes to pick up big things and throw them. Giant pillows, his riding train, backpacks full of toys, clothes. Sometimes I even find him trying to pick up
me.
Item 4: He has a fetish for long hair. Especially my hair. In third grade there was a little boy named Frank who stood behind me in the lunch line. Everyday he pulled on and played with my braids or pony tail, and irritated me immensely. I could not understand why he wanted to touch my hair all the time. The Bible says that a woman's long hair is her glory (1 Cor 11:15). Historically, men have loved the long hair of women. I never knew how innate this trait was. If Karsten had his way, my hair would be his comfort blanket and his binky replacement. It seems to always be in his hands or in his mouth. Karsten will be the irritating boy in the lunch line to some little girl one day, I am sure of it.
Item 5: He is an eater. The way to his heart is through his stomach. He will like you if you feed him and is adept at stealing food from abandoned plates around the house. After Thanksgiving dinner he crawled up to the table and finished off his sister's meal. This is not an uncommon sight now that he can climb chairs.
Item 6: He is a snuggler. So much more so than my girls. This little boy learns by touch and loves by touch. His hugs are the best, with strength and recognition and jubilation in them.
Item 7: He is a breath-holder. A breath-holder, as in does not stop to breath when he gets mad but just keeps pushing air out until the scream turns silent, until the lips turn purple, until finally one breath and one loud shriek before the eyes roll back and the child passes out. Usually in my arms, as I am attempting to protect him from injury during the fit. The most it has happened is 4 times in one day, so that's okay, right? The doctor says he will grow out of it when he learns enough language to communicate his frustrations. Yep, I am looking forward to that stage. (This item is not gender specific, but I wanted to throw it in there because it says something about his personality.)
Item 8: He is a climber. Oh my. I thought perhaps my children didn't have the climbing gene and I might make it through child-rearing without this difficult trait. Never allow yourself to dare to think something like that for it will surely be proved wrong. At one week shy of 14 months old Karsten was crying hard in the middle of the night. This is not particularly unusual and putting him to sleep again generally involves a search for the binky and a pat on the back. I was taking my time getting into his room at the other end of the house and he had stopped crying before I got out of bed, but some niggle in my head told me to go anyway. In my sleepy stupor I stumbled right over him sitting in the middle of the kitchen at 3am. Apparently he climbed out of his crib. My girls, who are 3 and 6, sometimes play in his crib to be silly and they still don't climb out of it.
Life is about to change. Again. There seems to be no "stasis" with small kids in the house, so what made me think I could get comfortable? Last week he began opening doors by standing on his tiptoes. Next week he will be fully walking. So much energy and determination in one little person.
I must admit that there was a point in my life that I had trouble connecting with little boys. It wasn't that I didn't like them, I just didn't understand them the way that I am learning to understand my own little guy. I thought little boys were wild because they were disobedient. I thought they had too much energy simply to be difficult. I didn't understand how their exploratory nature was a reflection of their curiosity and different interests. Exploration is a little boy's God-given learning style. It is a great wonder and privilege to have a little boy in our home, even if it means that the furniture is going to take an extra beating.
I thought some of these gender differences would be reasons I would not enjoy having a little boy in the house. Instead, these differences are reasons that make me love him even more. They are opening my eyes to the balance that God created when He made man and woman. And they are even giving me eyes to newly appreciate my husband, just an adult boy.
Life is busy, but I LOVE LITTLE BOYS!! And little girls too, but that was already a given.
