unexpected gifts

I'd like you to meet our neighbors: Mrs. Dagmar and Mr. Hans-Peter, (or "Mr. Hans-Paper" as Karsten calls him).

They show up at the back fence every few days with some new treasures to entertain our kids... a box of matchbox cars for Karsten, some souvenir necklaces for Sommer, a collection of tiny porcelain animals from travels to Thailand for Annike. During a hot week at the end of the summer he pulled this tent out of the attic and spent an hour setting it up in the yard, along with inflatable mattresses and a camping table for the inside. You can imagine how thrilling that was for small kids.

We are collecting a string of similar stories after being here for over a month. I don't know if it says more about the generosity of German culture, or the heart of beauty still found in humanity. We are meeting people here everywhere we go who find joy in recognizing our needs, and then responding to them.  

A local mother at Annike's school dropped by one day with a pair of bicycles her son had outgrown, wondering if we would like to borrow them. She had no idea that every day Karsten had been asking me if he could have his own bicycle. Our teenage babysitters and family brought us boxes of Duplo Legos and Schleich horses - pretty much the two kinds of toys my kids love playing with the most. Don't have an old blanket to picnic with? Here's one. Need bedding for your relatives? Here's some. New to the area and need tips on the best places to visit? Come over and we will share all we know. I hardly have time to identify our own needs before somebody steps in to fill them.

At the beginning of this week a group of local ladies took me to a cafe for my birthday. Some of them had only met me briefly before, and none of them had known me longer than 8 weeks, but they showed up just to make someone new feel special. This was a birthday year I had quite low expectations for, as a new person in a foreign country with parents that left recently and a husband who is busy. It was a time of tremendous blessing and fellowship for me. 

I have been a believer in Jesus Christ for most of my life, but I can hardly understand what it feels like to receive gifts of this kind of unnecessary generosity from strangers. There is something about living in a constant state of need that invites others in.

Part of practicing the discipline of living simply this year means that we don't have everything we want all the time, and that is okay. When I use the word "need", I want to be clear that we always have enough clothes to wear and enough food to eat. Yet, we are living a life here that is not overflowing with the excessive abundance we have access to at home.

It means that the littler kind of needs arise and we get to wallow in them for a while before they are filled.

It means that we lack more, both physically and relationally. But it also means we are being drawn in by others who are gifted in beautifully different and individual ways. They have gifts to use, and they are getting to use them

It means that we are getting a reverse perspective on life, being on the receiving end rather than the giving end.

And it means that we are even more immensely grateful for those small sacrifices and gifts of unmeasurable value made on our behalf.

To make it work we have to be utterly dependent on God for everything. And I keep thinking, why would I have to practice dependence on God if I could depend on my lifestyle to provide for me? ... and... How would I understand the importance of giving gifts to strangers if I have never needed to receive them myself?

Living in a state of neediness comes with a fair amount of uncertainty. It isn't comfortable. It doesn't always produce the best emotions or feelings of stability. In it, however, we are finding so many unexpected gifts.

my story of infertility and miscarriage

I have told a number of personal stories on this blog over the last seven years, ranging from funny to frustrating. Always, my aim is to write in a manner that is authentic to who I am and illustrates my understanding of a compassionate God. I never want to preach, but only practice.

Somehow, the story I am sharing today hasn't been written until now. It was a story hard to write for myself, but strangely, I felt compelled to write it for someone else. Sometimes it is hard to put all of those tears and emotion into articulate printed words until the purpose and timing is right. I would like to humbly ask for your support as this story is my very first guest post ever, found over at the blog All-American Mom.

May is a month celebrating mothers, and a crucial reminder to me that though I now have three sweet, loving, loud, silly kids pounding through my home, it very nearly might not have been. This is part of the reason that I resonated with Sarah Philpott's heartfelt exhortation to start a cultural shift recognizing ALL types of mothers on Mother's Day: "the moms who have a precious baby they can hold in their arms, the moms whose sweet babies are in heaven, and the women whose heart desire was to be a mom." (allamericanmom.net)

I have been in all three of those categories at one time or another. Though it illustrates one of the harder aspects of my life over the past decade, I wouldn't trade it in because out of this journey comes a newer, deeper love for all women and women's issues, and redefines my ability to minister to them.

The story begins here...

"From the time I was a teenager I’d had issues with my reproductive system. Every doctor I saw for the issue treated it the same way – with birth control pills. I was told there was nothing they could do until I was ready to get pregnant. At age 15 that desire seemed a long way off, but even then I understood the reality that I would one day have trouble conceiving..."

Follow this link to keep reading this guest post at All-American Mom...http://allamericanmom.net/journeyofinfertility/

(I'll see any comments left on her blog... thank you!)

Below are some photos of my mother's day, which started with some morning snuggles by some VERY excited children who couldn't wait to make me feel special by waking me up early.

The rest of the day included a drive and beautiful coastal hike at Pigeon Point lighthouse (South of Half Moon Bay near San Francisco) and Ano Nuevo where you can walk amidst the crowds of breeding elephant seals. Plenty of wildflowers were picked illegally and handed to me in loving bouquets. 

Those aren't rocks back there, they are elephant seals!

the next thing

God has been teaching me about the word “overwhelmed” lately.

It is a word that creeps into many crevices of my life. I get overwhelmed by the messy condition of my home. I get overwhelmed by the behavior of my 4-year-old who seems to have more stamina for throwing tantrums than I do for disciplining. I get overwhelmed by the number of people to whom I should reach out, or return phone calls, or have over for dinner. I get overwhelmed by the projects that need doing that I will never have time to do in the foreseeable future. I even get overwhelmed at the grocery store by the sheer number of cereal boxes there are to choose from in every size and sugar level.

Feeling overwhelmed makes me shut down. I can't do anything very well when I am consumed by the feelings of all that looms too largely in front of me.

Then lately, there is this thought, that maybe the feeling of being overwhelmed isn't something I should entertain. Maybe it isn't from God. Maybe it is something that has worked against me my whole life in order to see me so stopped up by the daily chores that I would never consider do something grandly outside of myself for the love of Christ. 

You see, I also get overwhelmed by the dreams I believe God might be putting in my heart. Too big, too lofty, too hard, too impractical, too far to go from here, too unrealistic at this life stage.

A message has been echoing through the corners of my mind over the last few weeks, originally beginning with the words of Jennie Allen whose gift is sincerity of heart. The message is to begin by being faithful with whatever is the next thing. 

Don't look down the road at the things I might sacrifice or count the ways I am incapable. Simply be faithful with the next thing. Do what God wants for today. When the thing after that comes along, be faithful with that too. 

When I am overwhelmed by the disaster in my kitchen, I take a deep breath and dive into one task at a time. First clear the table. Then put the food away. Move the dishes to the sink. Wipe down counter tops. Do the next thing, and then the thing after that. After inevitable interruptions occur, return and press on. 

Wouldn't it make sense to pursue God with the same faithful step by step approach?

The next thing might be making a phone call, or it might be sitting down to read a book with a child who dearly craves attention. It might be doing dishes with joy. It might be something bigger like saying yes to leading a Bible study, or it might not.

The thing I am seeing clearly is that faithfulness starts little. Following after God's heart is not an overwhelming task looming before us. It has always been simple, requiring little, offering much.

"Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much..." 

Luke 16:10 

"It is like a mustard seed,

which is the smallest seed you plant in the ground. 

Yet when planted, it grows and becomes the largest of all garden plants, 

with such big branches that the birds of the air can perch in its shade."  

Mark 4:31, 32