lessons in giant pumpkins

A year ago in October, a friend was describing the process of growing giant pumpkins. Listening to her, however, I knew it was an analogy for my life. Hang with me here as I describe the process:

Giant pumpkins take a special kind of seed planted in a excellent blend of fertilized soil. They need a lot of sunshine, and a fair amount of water.

The good growing conditions are not enough. Once the vine has grown to a certain length, and the flowers have turned into a number of small round fruits, the farmer has to do some knowledgeable selection.

The farmer's role is crucial. She chooses the one best pumpkin on the vine she believes will grow to be a giant, and must pinch off all the other baby pumpkins. They all look like they could grow to be equally large, but she must choose.

If they aren't pinched, then a good number of pumpkins will grow, but none of them will be of unique size. You see, there is only a certain amount of nutrients to go around. Funneling all of the energy of the plant into one fruit is what creates the giant, prize-winning pumpkin. One vine can produce either a lot of normal sized pumpkins, or one giant pumpkin, but it cannot do both.

My friend's narration of the process confirmed that in my life it was pumpkin pinching time. Part of that, I knew immediately, was laying this little blog aside for a while - it was one thing that could be pinched.

The timing of all this fell a few months after our return to the U.S. from a season of overseas adventure. A season when nearly everything that gave me comfort had been stripped away. I didn't feel surprised that my little writing hobby here was next.

I was decidedly disappointed. Mostly in myself, realizing that I am not capable of carrying all things well (this truth always comes as a surprise to me). After all of the letting go through our year's adventures, after all the laying down of things, it was disappointing that there was still more to surrender. There always will be.

Through the disappointment, I could see a gentle INVITATION. God's ways are never forceful, they are invitational. Trust me with the gifts I gave you in the first place, He faithfully whispered into that anxious place in my heart. Another invitation to lay something down is another invitation to grow

Writing has been a great gift to me. To me. It had become a gift of allowing me a place to process in all of those years stuck at home with small children. A gift of using my brain in a season of very limited academic stimulation. A gift of encouragement when I couldn't actually be with other human beings over 3 feet tall. A gift of having a place to articulate all of the growth I was experiencing as a mother, without physically leaving my house full of babies. A gift of using a gift right from my living room at nap time.

Then this past spring, our family got out in the dirt together to begin our vegetable garden, around 6 months after the conversation with my friend. I came across an old paper bag we've had lying around the garage for years labeled "GIANT PUMPKIN SEEDS". It was surely a sign.

For fun, I investigated and discovered that the grand prize for giant pumpkins at our local county fair is $400. Exciting! This must be the year that pinching pumpkin in gardens and lives would lead to something glorious, potentially ending in a notable prize.

I planted 10 seeds. Despite being many years old, every single of one of them sprouted. The amount of green vine produced from 10 seeds soon took over the perimeter of the garden overflowing onto the driveway. Despite some loss of vines to gophers and others to poor location, very quickly my garden became a jungle of pumpkins vines (with some tomatoes, green beans and sunflowers mixed in.)

Favorite summer game: pretending to be bunnies in the overgrown garden.

Choosing a few of the Giant Pumpkin vines that looked worthy, I faithfully pinched, watered, and rolled those pumpkins regularly for roundness, doing everything I could to grow a giant prize winning pumpkin.

Despite all of my best efforts, at the end of the summer, my largest pumpkin came in a good 400 pounds below the weight of the County Fair prize-winners. They were beautiful, but not big enough to bother entering the county contest.

It seems to me that God has a very good sense of humor. While I felt certain that I was called into pinching pumpkins and funneling my energy into just a few things I am called to do well (namely, parenting children and being present in the lives of those in a few select ministries right in front of me), God's little metaphor helped me see that His intentions were never for me to end up a prize-winner.

Sometimes we are simply called to lay things down. They may be inherently good and wholesome things, gifts from God Himself. Laying one thing down may be the key to allowing something else to grow. A lot of times, the things we faithfully cultivate will not be prize-winners, and that doesn't mean they aren't worthy.

We ended up with somewhere over 50 individual pumpkins and an uncounted number of small gourds in our garden this year. Ironically, most of the vines came up as volunteers out of the compost pile, which means they didn't take any energy from me at all. I never expected the abundance of fruit I didn't plant.

Perhaps we found more joy in giving our abundance of pumpkins away to friends and family than we would have in any prize? After giving so many away, we still ended up with a porch full of pumpkins. Because I grew them myself, I loved all of their imperfections, warts, ridiculous stems and dents more than usual this year.

I share this today because, after all this time, I may pick up and write on this blog periodically, and I may not. Either way, I've learned a lot about pinching pumpkins, and a lot about what it means to lay one thing down in my life in order to let something else grow. Not a single one of us can grow all things well. Maybe you, too, need encouragement to lay something down.

From seed trays...

... to planting in rows...

... to garden jungle.

Help bringing in the harvest.

Carve 'em up!

As a much better surprise at the County Fair than an award for a giant piece of fruit was Annike's fun "Best In Show" award for her collection of bird nests! We do love the County Fair!