eyes

I am long overdue for a new cover photo.

There are now 3 little sets of eyes regularly teaching me about life and love and the ultimate simplicity of God's message.

Eyes that are grey, green, and blue.

 Eyes watching me too.

"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen; what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."  2 Corinthians 4:18

a dance in her heart

When I was a child, church consisted of two parts. The first was an hour where everyone broke into age group classes, like Sunday School. The second part was the church service in the sanctuary where everyone convened together for worship and the sermon. Families with kids sat in the back, but we were all of us sitting together in "big church". I admit that most of my memories of that time include things I was drawing on the empty spaces in the bulletin. But it is also the period in my life where I learned the words to many of the hymns still retained in my memory.

Most church experiences are designed differently now. While the adults meet in the sanctuary, the children are divided into their respective classes. I am not going to criticize this model because we all know it is hard to concentrate in a room full of bored and wiggly children. I think that Sunday School classes are wonderful and designed to teach the Bible at each appropriate age level, but I also think there are some valuable lessons for kids to learn during big church.

It is good that I think this, because whether I have wanted it or not, I have had one or more of my children in big church with me for the past 5 and a half years since we first became parents. This is due to all sorts of things like separation anxiety, grumpy children, and my germ-a-phobic husband who does whatever he can to prevent any incoming viruses. Sunday School is unfortunately a big contributor to our household colds.

This past Sunday (now a few Sundays ago as I can't seem to get my posts up in a timely manner!), Sommer made it through a good two thirds of big church before we had to retreat into the Overflow Room set up with video feed of the service. I actually think that two thirds of the service is pretty good for a 2 year old. She might not have paid much attention to the sermon, but when the worship music began she was riveted. Her response confirms that no harm has been done by keeping her out of Sunday School for a few more months while we have a baby in the house we are trying to keep healthy. This little gal was worshiping the Lord with her whole body, dancing, arms waving, head nodding in rhythm, heart captured.

It is hard to fully appreciate from this video, as it only caught the end of her worship experience. I was too wrapped up watching her in the beginning to consider whipping out my camera. By this time she had been joined by a friend. And she was holding a lot of favorite items originally intended to keep her quiet during the church service.  Still...

It was a blessing to my soul to see this small child respond to the call to worship. It might look like any old 2 year old to you, but I know it came from a heart that was caught up by the Spirit all around her.

I am not really sure at what age a child can technically accept Christ. I am absolutely positive that I would have argued differently in a debate about this prior to having kids. What I do know, is that to the best of her understanding and ability, this small child has embraced Jesus in her life. And He has put a song and a dance in her heart.

In the bedtime voice of Sommy: "Jesus loves me? Jesus loves you, Momma? Jesus loves Papa? Jesus loves Anka (Annike)? Jesus loves Baby Karton (Karsten)?..." this list goes on...

Yes, Little One. He loves us all.

investment

As I promised at the start of the New Year, we have been purging around here. Unfortunately, dropping giant boxes full of clothes and toys and bedding off at the donation center isn't the only form of de-cluttering that needs to happen in this house. There is a purging of the heart that is taking place too. Some bad attitudes have been cluttering up this home. They start small at first, with a mere thought of annoyance at something, or someone. Before I know it the entire attitude closet needs to be cleaned out. And I really know we are in trouble when I can no longer close the door to that closet as the junk comes pouring forth. Time to purge.

All three kids had RSV over the last few weeks, also known as a horrid respiratory virus that left the kids coughing all night and cranky all day. I was sneezed on and coughed on and used as a tissue. It is rather miraculous that I didn't get start getting sick until twelve days into it. Twelve long days of caring for fussy sick children, then I succumbed myself.

The head cold was the final item in that closet that prevented me from closing the door. There is nothing like a head cold to bring forth a deluge of self-pity. Poor me. Sometimes I just want to know that my life is about more than wiping noses and bottoms and faces. Is that too much to ask?!

Apparently, it is a lot to ask. Apparently I think pretty highly of myself to believe I should be doing "more important" things with my days.

The most important characters in the Bible were the ones who spent years investing in the insignificant. They were shepherds and fishermen and characters of humble beginnings. They spent the majority of their lives not being recognized or thanked or noticed particularly. They didn't visit exciting places and they lived a rather mundane daily routine. In the end, they were chosen for the condition of their hearts. Because investing in the insignificant is the best way to transform the condition of the heart.

Mothering young children feels a lot like investment in the insignificant. No one puts a stay-at-home mom on a list of the most accomplished or successful or wealthy people. No one is watching when she has a stellar moment to offer praise for her supreme patience with the obnoxious habits of her children. No one is around to notice if she doesn't do her job right either.

Motherhood is a training ground for the kind of humility that would make God want to choose someone like me for something in His kingdom. A nasty virus that sweeps the household is like the wolf that comes lurking through the shepherd's pasture. No one sees how the wolf is handled. But the outcome is crucial to the fate of the flock and the shepherd.

So now we are working on purging the attitudes that have begun to clutter our halls... attitudes of self-pity, and self-importance, and down right selfishness. Some of those attitudes belong to little people in my house. And some of them belong to me. But all of them need to go, no matter how insignificant it feels to invest in this way. In this case, an investment in the insignificant is an investment in eternity, an investment truly worth making.

God was shouting at me from the pages of Romans this week. I love it when He does that - as if He made sure it was written down 2000 years ago just so I could read it and be encouraged today.

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, 

to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true 

and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, 

in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you." 

Romans 12:1-3

And... some pictures of all the sickies. What else do you do when all 3 kids are home all day long for over a week? Dress up like animals and get a lot of snuggling in...

dedication

It is hard to picture this chubby baby brother as anything other than a pudgy blob of cuteness that breaks into a grin whenever I look at him. The extreme example of innocence.

But one day he will be an energetic little boy, and then he will be a man.

We stood in front of our church body this morning, as a family, and committed to raise our little son up to know and love Jesus, to the best of our ability. We dedicated this precious little soul to the Lord, annointing him with oil. (You can see the girls loved being on stage)

Annointing and dedication are ways of separating something, or setting something apart for a special purpose. We want to make it publically known that we have set this baby boy apart to be holy, so that God's special purpose for his life can be fulfilled. We know he will one day have the choice to exercise his freewill, but in the meantime we will do our best to lead him down the path of Truth.

As a parent raising two daughters I feel the great call to protect them and to instill the values of purity and gentleness. I have been surprised how different it is to think about raising up a boy to know and follow Christ. To raise a boy, we need to teach him to BE the protector... a man who is a leader that makes wise decisions for both himself and others... and a man who has humility. Leadership and humility do not naturally go hand in hand. Only with the influence and example of Jesus Christ does it become possible to be a humble leader.

I have known so many godly women throughout my life, in all walks of life and all ages. But I have known so few godly men. So few men that I would want my daughters to consider marrying. I would venture to say that it seems much harder to raise up a godly man than it is to raise up a godly woman.

Without question it is something we cannot do alone. We are so grateful to be surrounded by special friends and family who love our children as their own, and who love the Lord God with all their hearts. It takes a village.

Karsten's outfit did not have the history of the dress that Sommer and Annike wore, but this day will be remembered all the same. Visit this link for those pictures.

Dedication Prayer for Karsten

May his mind have Your wisdom

May his eyes see Your glory

May his ears hear Your voice,

May his mouth tell Your truth,

May his heart be Your home,

May his hands do Your work,

May his feet follow wherever You lead,

May his knees bow only before You, his loving Lord and God.

new year

New Year's Eve is sure different with 3 kids. We didn't even consider staying up until midnight this year. But thanks to the closest neighbors who keep the industry of importing illegal fireworks in business, every year at midnight we awaken, roll over in bed for our new year kiss, then promptly go back to sleep. It's becoming tradition!

We did make the evening special with family movie night, pizza and popcorn, sparklers, and glow sticks in the bathtub. All ending promptly at 7:30pm. It was midnight somewhere, right?

Happy New Year!  NEW. I like the sound of that.

Just under one year ago I discovered I was pregnant with little Karsten. They say that pregnancy is only 9 months long, but as a woman who has had three kids, I can safely say that it is really a full year commitment to carry this child. Between the morning sickness stage (so dreadful... don't even make me think about it), the I-am-too-big-to-walk stage, the exhaustion stage (wait - that was the whole thing), and then the 24 hour care through the newborn stage, it is fair to say that my body was devoted to growing Karsten for the whole of 2013. A woman gives up her body for a full year to bring a baby into the world (and that number does not account for the weight she will be trying to lose for the rest of her life because of that baby).

I love my baby, and he was entirely worth it. But I am ready to move on, to move forward, to emerge from the pregnancy stage into a stage of life where I have the energy to actually enjoy my children. And a stage when sleep is a little more abundant. Well... here's to hoping anyway!

God has given me a word for the year 2014: PURGE. Okay, I may not have heard Him audibly, but it was close enough for me. This year is going to be about purging, starting with the inexcusable amount of junk that has somehow collected in my house. We are getting rid of the excess so that we can make room for the things that matter.

We added a new person to the family this year, and he is one of those things that matters a lot. We need to make room for him.

There is a mentality that comes with hanging on to a lot of "stuff" that we don't need, and it carries over into who we are. I don't want to be bogged down by the things I won't let go of.

Literally, I am bogged down by the extra junk we have accumulated. Mentally, I am also bogged down by things I can't seem to let go of.

This year will be a year of purging the undesirable to create space for something better. You will be hearing more from me on this theme in the months to come.

With great joy and hope, I wish you a happy 2014!

the joy of giving

The Christmas season is drawing to a close and the New Year is quickly approaching. I finally have a moment to sit and reflect upon this beautiful season. The highlight of Christmas this year was witnessing Annike's progression in understanding the purpose of gifts during this season.

Christmas with small children is a lot of hearing them look forward to the presents they will get. I remember the feeling too as a child when I couldn't wait to tear into those enticing packages tempting me under the tree.

In the final weeks before Christmas we did our best to combat the "want" feeling with gentle reminders... What is Christmas really about? Giving. Who is the real gift? Jesus.

In an effort to emphasize the "giving" side of Christmas, I usually have Annike shop for a small present to give to a few family members. It takes a lot of parental direction. "I think Daddy would like a new toy animal!" she says, or "How about getting him this coloring book? Maybe he will let me color my favorite pages!" Unfortunately, the ability to give unselfishly does not come naturally to all people. But I have learned it can be taught, and it can be practiced over and over until we get better at it.

This year was different. Of her own accord, Annike made the most precious compilation of themed animal books to give as gifts. There was a book about rain forest animals, aquarium animals, baby animals, alphabetic animals, swamp animals, zoo animals, and a few more. Each contained pages and pages of colorful drawings. Each made with careful attention to detail. Many included narration.

She was excited to wrap them all on her own. On Christmas morning, instead of running to her stocking or the first present she planned to open, Annike raced to find these presents she had so carefully wrapped herself and placed under the tree. She couldn't wait to give these gifts to their recipients. Joy overcame her as the giver of good gifts.

I felt so proud, and so hopeful as I watched her. Once in a while all of those things I keep repeating over and over until even I am not listening to the sound of my own voice, get through to the heart. For once I didn't have to remind her with a gentle prod and a false smile that it is fun to give... because she already knew.

Belated Merry Christmas!

(This was the best gift that came in my stocking!)

keep it simple

This is the first year I can remember that I wasn't excited about getting all of the Christmas decorations out. Something to do with the way that my house already feels so cluttered all the time. On top of all of the toys everywhere, and the other people living in this house who don't seem to be bothered by any of the mess, we added a baby. He came with a baby swing and a bouncy seat and a bassinet and a whole lot of hand-me-down clothes and he added some burp clothes to the arm of every chair in the house. I was dreading the additional Christmas clutter.

The Christmas season can be a struggle because at Christmas there is so much more... more parties, more mail, more shopping, more pressure, more stuff. More of everything except time. Less time. When you add more to an already full life, you just get... overwhelmed. Every year it catches me by surprise.

We tied to keep it simple this year. There are the stockings, and some lights around the windows, and the Christmas tree. It was a good decision to only hang half of our usual ornaments because as it is the ornaments seem to be migrating around my house.

We took a weekend away with the family. Vacations are different with 3 kids to manage and nap schedules to remember, or ignore and pay the consequences for later. But even so, we took a step away from the holiday anxiety. For one weekend I didn't have to think about the presents I still need to buy, the Christmas cards I haven't sent yet, or anything on my holiday to-do list. We had a simple weekend with the kiddos and the snow.

Sometimes less is more.

Yosemite was a genuine winter wonderland. Especially for those of us who live on the central California coast and see no snow. It seemed to me that God just wanted to show off his attention to detail when He created this place.

This little guy slept, and slept, and slept in his cozy stroller.

And once in a while he woke up!