my cup overflows

I didn't quite know what our Thanksgiving would look like this year in a foreign country, where turkey is not an easily available item for purchase. And family is not anywhere near by. And friends only go back a few months.

As I reflect on this Thanksgiving abroad, celebrated with new friends who feel they could be old friends, my heart is full. There are times when God's love for us feels so personal. He knows our hopes and longings and tender places and disappointments so intimately. Sometimes it seems He reaches into our lives and fulfills a heart's desire simply because He wants to give a good gift. It brings God pleasure to see us thrive.

Besides a beautiful Thanksgiving meal with most of the essential side dishes, we had a few moments of well-behaved children, allowing us to relax and enjoy some edifying adult conversation. Proof that God is caring for us tenderly, compassionately, and personally in a season that has been deeply stretching.

As this new friend reminds me, we are known by a God who sees us. In this case, He has preempted one of our most intimate needs for community by providing friendship and fellowship in a place that could have been colored by deep loneliness. For this, we must pause to be grateful.

Throughout the month of November, our family practiced the discipline of gratitude by adding to a "thankful tree" made of construction paper hanging on the window. This act of daily inscribing leaves with the numerous reasons we have be thankful is sure to become a new family tradition.

It makes my heart feel especially full to see some of the things my children have put on their leaves...

* "God loves me so so so much" -- Karsten 

* "God is so creative" -- Sommer 

* "answered prayers, like getting to see a hedgehog" -- Annike 

* "the olden days"  (stemming from all the history we are seeing here in Europe) 

* "a ride on a fairy boat"  (meaning: "ferry boat") 

* "milck"  (spelled with a mixture of German and English spelling) 

* "new friends" 

* "old friends"

Our traditionally American Thanksgiving dinner was observed over the weekend because it turns out that there are no breaks from school over here honoring American-only holidays. To make our acutal Turkey Day special, we pulled off our first pot of traditional Swiss Fondue. It is a fun meal to share on a special occasion because it invites the family into community. Everyone gathers in close around the pot, giggling while the bread is dipped, and sometimes lost, and the kids feel especially tickled to be eating with a long sharp stick.

Happy Thanksgiving!

"You anoint my head with oil; 

my cup overflows. 

Surely goodness and mercy will follow me 

all the days of my life."  

Psalm 23:5,6

plant your garden

One of the hardest things about this season abroad for us has been all of the transitions we have faced. We have had housing changes, and friend changes, and school changes, and neighbor changes, and routine changes, and even a change in the country we live in, resulting in a significantly different culture and community change mid-way through our time here. Flexibility has become our motto, but some of the transitions grow tiring over time.

Around a month ago we made the move to our new residence in Switzerland, which has turned out to be a lovely place and even comes with household pets that the kids adore. There is a long and involved story that I won't tell here, but this house is only ours for 3 months, at which point we need to find another place to live. Another transition. Another unknown. Another distraction from the things I expected to be focused on.

Meanwhile, in this season of changing fall colors and tentative plans, I have been thinking about our garden from our California home. It takes some degree of permanence to want to plant a garden. This year, we opted not to plant our vegetables because we knew we wouldn't be home to harvest them. What is the point of planting a garden if you can't enjoy the fruit?

As we were getting ready to leave back in June, however, we discovered a large vine of volunteer pumpkins sprouting on the hillside beside the driveway. It started itself from last year's gourds that we aimlessly tossed into a composting hole, and looked like it might produce 20-30 large pumpkins. I have to laugh because I always dream of having an entire porch full of pumpkins that I didn't have to pay $15 each for, and this would have been the year. Never would I have planted those pumpkins knowing I wouldn't be around to harvest the fruit.

Living under temporary circumstances can send us into a form of self-preservation fearing the commitment or energy it takes to invest in something that might not end up being permanent. Whether it is pumpkins or relationships, I find that the changes, the uncertainties, and the knowledge of upcoming transitions, makes me hold back.

In a season full of temporaries, I struggle with not wanting to invest in whatever today holds because tomorrow I might discover it was all for nought.

No one knew this better than the exiles of Israel, who were carried from Jerusalem into a foreign land against their will, with no return plan in sight. Please don't mistakenly assume that is how I would describe myself right now, it is just to say that the exiles knew better than anyone what it meant to be strangers in a land leading a life full of transitions.

Jeremiah 29 is a beautiful chapter in the Old Testament written as an exhortation for them to get up and live their lives no matter what they thought might come in their future. This is a passage quite well known for a few verses that promise God's prospering plans, hope, and future. While it is wonderful to receive an encouraging promise for the unknowns in life, sometimes we want more. Sometimes we also want instructions about what to do next:

"This is what the Lord Almighty, the God of Israel, says to all those I carried into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon: "Build houses and settle down; plant gardens and eat what they produce. Marry and have sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, so that they too may have sons and daughters. Increase in number there; do not decrease. Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper... 

"...For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call to me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.""  

Jeremiah 29:4-7, 11-13

More than just a promise, these are instructions on how to live while we wait.

"Build houses and settle down; plant gardens and eat..." Those things don't happen overnight. They take time, and materials, and energy, and the hope of getting to enjoy the house built out of much labor, or the fruit produced by that garden.

The truth is that no one can ever know what is in store for the future. Some of us are living in a season we believe will be the same for the next 20 years - but that can only be an illusion. We can't know what will happen tomorrow, no matter how secure today seems. I might be feeling a bit unstable as I see the reality of transitions approaching, but they are coming whether I see them or not.

In this season of temporaries, I recognize God's desire for me to plant gardens even if I am not the one who gets to harvest the fruit, or eat it. His instructions are to invest no matter what I see in the future. And to trust His prospering plan.

Might you, also, be living in a place that you didn't intend?  Plant your garden.

Feeling left behind by others who are pursuing their dreams while you wonder if you will ever get to pursue yours?  Plant your garden. 

At home with small children who deter all goals and sense of productivity?  Plant your garden.

Stuck in a job that you don't want forever?  Plant your garden.

Dreaming of a future that is more comfortable, or more exciting, or less hard work? Plant your garden.

In "exile" somewhere, not knowing how to proceed?  Plant your garden.

Stop wasting time waiting around for a different season in life, or wishing things were different. Plant your garden.

 

strangers and halloween

One of the things we are learning in our time overseas is what it feels like to be a stranger.

Stranger-hood comes in all forms, like not knowing how to buy the right ingredients at the grocery store because of the language barrier, or being singled out every time we cross a border because our license plate is unfamiliar, or not having anyone to write down on the emergency contact card at school, or not knowing the answers to simple questions like "how exactly does trash collection work around here?" (and then finding that the answer is more complicated than you ever imagined), or not knowing how to celebrate basic holidays.

That's why I told my children that we weren't going to celebrate Halloween this year. We don't have costumes and we don't know what people do.

Then a family from school invited my children over to pick out some costumes from their dress up box. We also got word of a small Trunk or Treat at the local international school. Suddenly, we had something to wear and a place to go. My kids were thrilled!

On the drive to the Trunk or Treat event we were having the usual conversation in the car about expectations and how everyone should behave at the event. These conversations are especially important prefacing the arrival to any place where one Momma will be watching threes kiddos in a crowd.

Besides pleases and thank yous, the girls began discussing what would happen if one of them got more candy than the other in their baskets. The 8-year-old said:
"If I have a lot of candy and I give one piece to you, it would be nice of me. But if I only have one piece of candy and I give it to you, that is the nicest thing of all. Just like the Bible story."

Yes, like the Bible story where a widow puts only a few cents into the offering plate, and it means everything because it is all she has. Generosity is a measure of our heart, not our bank account. The Bible story told with the kid-friendly currency of candy.

In being strangers in a new place, we are learning about the deeper kinds of beauty found in generosity. Not just generosity that we read about, or think about, but the kind that we get to experience for ourselves. Even the children pick up on what it feels like to be invited in, to be welcomed, to be shared with.

We are all recipients of the sincerest kind of generosity. In turn, it is an exhortation to tangibly love the "strangers" we encounter in our own lives. Every celebration, even Halloween, is another excuse to tangibly love a stranger. What kind of stranger will you love today?

We charged the night with a cat, a princess, and a milk-drinking "fire engine man" (as he called himself). He was the most mesmerized by the evening of costumes and games, and a reminder of the magic of being 3 years old.

You can't tell how much our princess loved her costume because she was stricken by a fit-inducing "bump in her sock" at the moment of family photos. Perhaps it was a pea? 

  

The Widow's Offering

"Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a few cents. Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, 'Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything - all she had to live on" 

Mark 12:41-44 

unexpected gifts

I'd like you to meet our neighbors: Mrs. Dagmar and Mr. Hans-Peter, (or "Mr. Hans-Paper" as Karsten calls him).

They show up at the back fence every few days with some new treasures to entertain our kids... a box of matchbox cars for Karsten, some souvenir necklaces for Sommer, a collection of tiny porcelain animals from travels to Thailand for Annike. During a hot week at the end of the summer he pulled this tent out of the attic and spent an hour setting it up in the yard, along with inflatable mattresses and a camping table for the inside. You can imagine how thrilling that was for small kids.

We are collecting a string of similar stories after being here for over a month. I don't know if it says more about the generosity of German culture, or the heart of beauty still found in humanity. We are meeting people here everywhere we go who find joy in recognizing our needs, and then responding to them.  

A local mother at Annike's school dropped by one day with a pair of bicycles her son had outgrown, wondering if we would like to borrow them. She had no idea that every day Karsten had been asking me if he could have his own bicycle. Our teenage babysitters and family brought us boxes of Duplo Legos and Schleich horses - pretty much the two kinds of toys my kids love playing with the most. Don't have an old blanket to picnic with? Here's one. Need bedding for your relatives? Here's some. New to the area and need tips on the best places to visit? Come over and we will share all we know. I hardly have time to identify our own needs before somebody steps in to fill them.

At the beginning of this week a group of local ladies took me to a cafe for my birthday. Some of them had only met me briefly before, and none of them had known me longer than 8 weeks, but they showed up just to make someone new feel special. This was a birthday year I had quite low expectations for, as a new person in a foreign country with parents that left recently and a husband who is busy. It was a time of tremendous blessing and fellowship for me. 

I have been a believer in Jesus Christ for most of my life, but I can hardly understand what it feels like to receive gifts of this kind of unnecessary generosity from strangers. There is something about living in a constant state of need that invites others in.

Part of practicing the discipline of living simply this year means that we don't have everything we want all the time, and that is okay. When I use the word "need", I want to be clear that we always have enough clothes to wear and enough food to eat. Yet, we are living a life here that is not overflowing with the excessive abundance we have access to at home.

It means that the littler kind of needs arise and we get to wallow in them for a while before they are filled.

It means that we lack more, both physically and relationally. But it also means we are being drawn in by others who are gifted in beautifully different and individual ways. They have gifts to use, and they are getting to use them

It means that we are getting a reverse perspective on life, being on the receiving end rather than the giving end.

And it means that we are even more immensely grateful for those small sacrifices and gifts of unmeasurable value made on our behalf.

To make it work we have to be utterly dependent on God for everything. And I keep thinking, why would I have to practice dependence on God if I could depend on my lifestyle to provide for me? ... and... How would I understand the importance of giving gifts to strangers if I have never needed to receive them myself?

Living in a state of neediness comes with a fair amount of uncertainty. It isn't comfortable. It doesn't always produce the best emotions or feelings of stability. In it, however, we are finding so many unexpected gifts.

dear jesus, please let me see a hedgehog

Dear Jesus,
Please let me see a hedgehog.

This is the prayer I have heard from my girls every single night as they have fallen asleep for the past 2 months. They have studied hedgehogs on the Internet, watched nature shows about them, and interviewed every person they've met on this journey about their own experiences with these prickly adorable creatures. With the help of a friend, they even built a "hedgehog nest" in our backyard, faithfully placing in it apple cores and worms whenever available.

And they have prayed. So earnest was this nightly prayer said by these two little animal lovers, that I too began to pray that they would, indeed, get the opportunity to see a hedgehog. As the summer went on and on, with no hedgehog appearances, the prayers grew more insistent.

On a warm Wednesday night just before their birthdays, around 1am, my husband heard the awkward rustling and lumbering of a hedgehog in the garden. As a pure act of love for his children, he got out of his cozy bed, armed with a flashlight and a towel, to see if he could catch this particularly large individual. It was discovered hiding in the nest the girls had prepared.

There are very few elective reasons for awakening sleeping children on a school night, but this was one of them. Hopefully you can appreciate the glee of the moment despite the fact that my photography skills are sup-par at 1am! I was so happy for my girls to finally see their favorite animal that I didn't even mind the dozens of fleas launching themselves into the bathtub. In case you are concerned, we only held him for a few minutes before releasing him into the back yard again. We are into animal rights as much as you might be.

Two months of praying seems like a long time to little girls. As their mother, I can see now that it was in the waiting that the prayers grew more persistent. I can see that just as their father got up in the middle of the night to catch this hedgehog, that perhaps their Heavenly Father went out of His way to granting this privilege. A simple act of love for little girls who love creatures He has made.

Now the bedtime prayer has turned to praise: Dear Jesus, thank you that we got to see a hedgehog.

Travelling with animal-loving children is an invitation to stop and admire some of the intricate detail and care taken with even the least of creation... like snails after a rainstorm...

... and jellyfish washed up in the north sea...

... and the sheer intelligence of the largest praying mantis we have ever encountered...

  
In addition to the creatures of the wild we aim to appreciate, we have started a collection of zoo visits. This trip to Europe has included the Stuttgart Zoo and beautiful botanical gardens, Odensee Zoo of Denmark, Frieberg Wild Animal Park, and of course, the Basel Zoo. All of this proves that it doesn't take living on a rural farm to enjoy nature, it take being interested in finding it wherever you are.

Animals inspire creativity, stretch the imagination, and excite new motivation for learning. And we sure are glad we got to see a hedgehog.

birthday week

We are rounding the corner on "birthday week" in Germany. We now officially have an 8, 5, and 3-year-old. All growing fast. All celebrated well.

Cakes were store bought for the first time ever. This might become a tradition. They were delicious, and stressfree since I didn't have to come up with some kind of animal cake decorating design (though the kids kept asking and did not understand that buying a cake also meant Momma wasn't decorating it.) If only I can get back to a European bakery for future birthdays...

Gifts were simple, with the goal being suitcase-sized for our eventual return trip. The biggest birthday gift was a visit from my parents, who spent the week on mini-excursions with us. They did not obey the suitcase-sized-gift rule. Karsten's ukelele may make a very nice hand-me-down for little German child a few months from now.



I often dedicate a separate post to each child on their birthday. In the spirit of our motto to live simply this year, instead, here is a simple slice in time of each child and what makes him or her unique.

Annike: 8 years old (on September 19)

Is... a kind leader, often serious and reserved in new settings, but has a creative side that is bursting below the surface. She knows who she is and the things that she likes, and this year of crazy transition hasn't changed any of those things.

Loves... animals, animals, animals. Currently, she is infatuated with animals native to Germany. She is an incredible reader and speller, and loves to draw (mostly animals, of course). She is sweeter than ever while she plays with her younger siblings, and the two sisters have become quite good buddies over this past summer of having only each other as friends.

This year... she developed a joy found in being helpful, whether in the kitchen or with the laundry, or in watching her little brother. If it doesn't interupt her play time, then she loves to help!

We celebrated... with a trip to the "schwimmbad", and treats for her class at school, and cake for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.


Sommer: 5 years old (on September 22)

Is... a talkative, social, bright little light in our family who remains charming and pleasant as long as she is not hungry or in some kind of discomfort (in which she decides everyone around her should also be brought down to her own miserable state.) We think she is pretty smart, but it might just be that she never stops talking, and has thus developed quite a vocabulary for a 5-year-old.

Loves... beauty in all forms, whether playing dress up or coloring pictures that use every color of the rainbow, or wearing all of her favorite sparkling accessories at the same time. She appears to also love talking, singing, or making noise of one kind or another, and there are days when she never stops.

This year... she became a better friend to those around her, including those at school, her siblings, and her mother. She can be the sweetest companion, and has come a very long way in learning to play kindly with her younger brother, who doesn't always appreciate or respect her love for having beautiful things.

We celebrated... with a trip to Alsace (France) and a ride on the carousel, and ice cream for lunch.

Karsten: 3 years old (on September 28)

Is... an even-keeled, easy-going, friendly little guy who enjoys making people laugh and having deep converstions with strangers, who are then charmed into giving him all sorts of things.

Loves... trucks and police cars that have moving parts like doors that open, and scary animals such as tyranosaurus rex and crocodiles. His imagination has recently come fully alive and the line between real and make believe is often a bit blurry in his mind. This makes for a lot of great conversation with him.

This year... he has become a care-taker with a compassionate side, wanting to protect and nurture the people he loves in his sweet little 3 year old way. He loves to "save the day" as any superhero his age should.

We celebrated... with trips to many different playgrounds in the area, and chocolate filled croissants, and cake at various times throughout the day.

Somewhere in the middle of all of this celebrating, and cake, we took explored Switzerland on some amazing day trips with my visiting parents. Lauterbrunnen (meaning "loud waterfall") must be one of the world's most beautiful valleys. Nestled in the Alps just outside of Interlaken, is a striking contrast of lush green cow pastures and steep snow-capped mountains, scattered with old Swiss architecture that adds to the charm. Here is a glimps of our train ride through Lauterbrunnen and hike around the base of the Jungfrau and neighboring mountains. It surely must have been inspiration for authors of fantasy novels, because it simply did not look real.

 

 

when things don't go as planned

We landed here in our clean and cozy home in the German border town of Weil am Rhein by such divine circumstances that I remain convinced it was not an accident. The row house in which we are living has been everything we wanted it to be, cementing plans that we dreamed up, prayed over, and tested regularly. Plans that were confirmed by a good God who knows how to light the path before us.

The narrow backyard and front of our typical row house,
lined up in community with around 20 other homes.

In a few short weeks we developed deep and growing relationships with a number of wonderful people in our proximity. We sipped tea in other backyards and carried apple crisp to the neighbors. The landlady invited me for weekly language practice over coffee, and her sweet teenage daughters have become our babysitters. Our children, who arrived with only a few tired toys, soon had an entire bedroom full of them because mere acquaintances began to shower us with generosity, passing on legos and toy trucks and horses that had been sitting in garages for a decade or more. Karsten found a new best friend in the retired train yard worker next door, who lights up when his little friend comes around. It took only these few short weeks before we began to run into people we knew ALL over town, in the grocery store, on the street corner, at the park, even in the airport. It seems too coincidental to actually be coincidence.

Relationship is everything we came to do well. Here we are, building those relationships with people from completely different backgrounds, and experiencing their gifts of love and welcome toward us. We are doing our best with what we came to do. But it isn't enough.

Life doesn't always go the way we plan it.

This chapter of our trip is about to end prematurely, and we feel a mixture of sadness and disappointment over this. The piece of the puzzle we have been missing all along is a German residency permit. We chose not to expend too much energy worrying about this before arriving because this piece sounded much simpler to obtain than so many of the other pieces that divinely fell into place (all described well here).

You already know I am going to tell you that we didn’t get it. I beat down doors looking for employment, networked my little heart out, and became best friends with the local authorities who process the applications and permission, but doors just kept slamming shut. It has been humbling indeed. Which I can thank God for, because humility is something that brings us closer to Him.

It isn’t that our plan B is so very bad. Plan B has always been to live in Switzerland instead of Germany and continue with the same heart and desires on the other side of the border. Plan B is still a beautiful plan, but it does change EVERYTHING…. from Annike’s school experience, to the language we all learn and practice, to the church community we hoped to have, to the amount of money it costs to live (ouch!), to the connection to German culture that is part of Christian’s familial heritage. The most tragic thing we feel now is that it curtails the relationships we have been building with the wonderful people we have met here.

Life is full of all kinds of disappointments to our expectations. Ours doesn't compare with some of the tragic turns I am witnessing in the lives of friends, including cancer and sickness and consequences for decisions that seem unjust. The one thing we can count on is that life will invariably NOT go as planned.

Looking at our whole story, I can't conclude that we were wrong in being led this direction, or that we have misstepped in some way, or even failed to listen at some point along the journey. Looking at our whole story, I have to conclude that this is right where God has us intentionally. Even if it wasn’t what we expected. Even if it changes everything.

In these past weeks all of our energy has gone to figuring out what is next, trying to rewrite some semblance of what will work for our family. We have been on a time line (dictated by our visas) to make a tough decision. I felt I was groping around in a darkened pitch black room, trying to catch hold of one solid idea that would work for the five of us involved in this journey. The choices were vast, each one setting off a waterfall of effects.

In a desperate moment of silence, groping for substance, I grabbed and held tight to one truth: “look for My face in the dark.” 
Quit groping around, the face of Jesus is all you need. It will shine brightly in a darkened place.

When things don't go as planned, it can feel that we have been overlooked, neglected, or forgotten. The book of 1 Thessalonians has been a special encouragement to me as it is a letter written specifically to remind a group of people that they have not been forgotten. Not only are they not forgotten, but they are remembered... for their faith, love, and endurance.

“We remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, 

your labor prompted by love, 

and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.” 

1 Thessalonians 1:3

This same book ends with a piece of invaluable wisdom about what to do when we don't know what to do next. Discerning God's will in the midst of our many daily decisions can be confusing and frustrating. Not every choice is clearly outlined in a practical way, meaning that there isn't a Bible verse telling us which house to rent, or which university to attend, or which friend to reach out to. There are days when discerning God’s will can feel murky at best. Yet, here it is, specifically addressed:

“Rejoice always, pray continually, 

give thanks in all circumstances; 

for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Friend, if you needed to hear that today too in the midst of painful indecision, or a glitch in the plans, please know that you are not forgotten, and you know what God's will is:. Rejoice. Pray. Give thanks.

In our case, it has led us to a place where we are grateful to finally have the vague outline of a decision made, even if it is not what we originally hoped for. We have around one month left living in Germany before we move to a temporary housing situation in Switzerland. We will rent another family’s home near the center of Basel for three months while they travel overseas (nearly the only thing we could find in weeks of searching!) Come January, we will be back in the same boat, trying to figure out what is next and where to live.

This is not a plan with which I am fully comfortable, as it doesn't offer me the stability or consistently I so desperately want right now. It doesn't allow me to plan very far into the future, as I am anxious to do. And it doesn't allow me to grow roots in our neighborhood. Always, I have to remember that "the plan" can't become the thing we mistakenly begin to follow. We follow after Jesus alone.

However, this plan does seem to be the best we can currently come up with. And it is covered in rejoicing, prayer, and giving thanks. So we proceed, remembering to hold our plans loosely and hold Jesus tight.

**************************

In the meantime, in between hours of emailing and searching online forums related to our above dilemmas, we have found some time for a little local exploration...

At the top of the medieval Rotteln Castle with a view from Germany into Switzerland...

Grindelwald and a glimpse of the Swiss Alps...

Enjoying a periodic dip in the Rhein River on a hot day, flowing right through the center of Basel (10 minutes or less away from us)...

Drinking from one of the numerous fountains scattered throughout the city that runs clean water 24 hours a day (an anomaly for these Californians used to skimping on water use)...

The beautiful churches, and

beautiful old walls get me every time...