a trip to nantucket

Travelling is not something that typically gives me anxiety.  This particular trip, however, gave me knots in my stomach for weeks beforehand. I sat up at night jotting lists of things that needed doing and schedules that needed booking. I was very nervous.

It was a 6 day trip with just Karsten and me. I had 5 items to carry in and out of the airport by myself, which involved some complicated strapping systems. In fact, the above picture is me "practicing" in my driveway for my dreaded trek through the airports. We flew on 4 different airplanes flown by 4 different airlines, hopping through 3 different places coast to coast (from San Francisco to Chicago to Nantucket). Fortunately Karsten still flies for free as he is just a few weeks shy of 2 years old, but he is pushing the weight limit for my lap so I wouldn't recommend this. All to be a part of 1 very important wedding on the island of Nantucket.

It had been over three years since I'd seen my paternal grandma, now well into her eighties. She had never met my little boy. On the way to Nantucket we made a 36 hour stop in the outskirts of Chicago to visit her.

When I was in the midst of chest-clenching anxiety over the details and realities of the trip I had scheduled, a friend reminded me, "You might feel stressed at times, but you will never regret making this trip." She was absolutely right.

  

One result of my extra stop was that 3 days out of my 6-day trip were spent in airports. I should mention here that for as long as I can remember I have burst into uncontrollable tears at the sight of strangers running through an airport. I believe it dates back to the time I was nine years old and my mother and I were stranded in Dallas because of a hurricane and had to do some running of our own. Whatever the reason, seeing people make that run with anxious faces and all their luggage makes me cry every time as I imagine the heartache of a missed flight and loved ones waiting at the other end.

We had a couple of close calls in the airport, but it was the connecting flight to Nantucket that was a near miss. It was also the most important piece, since there are not exactly a lot of flights to Nantucket running in a day. Getting stuck overnight in Washington D.C. was not on the itinerary.

I raced through the airport with an obscene amount of stuff and a small boy (or giant baby, however you want to look at it) strapped to my chest in a Bjorn carrier he outgrew a year ago. At some point my backpack had come unzipped and strangers were chasing after me with things like wet wipes and trail mix that had fallen out. I'd packed enough food to feed every passenger on the plane, so we fared okay despite some minor losses. If I'd been a bystander seeing myself run through the airport, I would have been reaching for tissue by now.

I held it together until we collapsed into our seat on the Nantucket flight, only minutes before they shut the airplane door. It was enough. I had spent the previous five hours worrying that we wouldn't make it... worrying about something I had absolutely no control over. Tears were welcome now. Hopefully the stewardess just thought I had allergies. Deep breaths. God provides, sometimes only by the very skin of our teeth.

Actually, God provided quite a lot for me in ways that I still can't fully see. Washington D.C. was just a layover location for me, not an actual destination. But oddly, on this same day of my near miss in the airport, a number of my extended family members were gathering for a funeral right there in D.C. While I fretted and waited on a delayed plane, there was an underlying peace knowing that I had family in this foreign city that would come and get me if I needed them to. It felt like a specific answer to my anxious prayers. I didn't end up needing help, but I did need peace, and I did need to know that God was taking care of me.

Karsten and I made it to the Nantucket wedding with time to spare. We watched my brother wed his lovely bride, now my sister-in-law, under a historic lighthouse. The setting pushed the anxieties of travel far behind us.

  

Karsten found a special joy in photo-bombing wedding pictures. He is used to being the cutest and most exciting subject for the camera, so I believe he was miffed that more photos were being taken of the lovely couple than him.
... No, he wasn't the ring-bearer. He was cupid-in-training.

Don't let the hassles of my story fool you. I wouldn't have missed this wedding if all of the airports shut down and I had to run my way to Cape Cod!

To the lovely couple: I wish you years of love and joy and friendship. May God bring a peace that will overshadow all of your anxieties in the way that He alone can. The wedding was beautiful, but the best is yet to come...

XOXO, Ashley